Finances will not destroy my relationship
It seems that on a regular basis I'm having to come here for guidance, but I think I'm looking for encouragement...or something.
I have previously posted that my partner is a "female impersonator", and I despise it. Well, a few months ago, he decided that he wanted to enter one of the pageants that would lead to the state pageant. I didn't want to feel like I was controlling him, so with some passive-aggressiveness, I sucked it up and let him. And although I'm to blame for allowing it to happen, the pageant financially ruined us for several months and we are just barely starting to climb out of the hole we created.
Now, when I see my paycheck fly right out the doors to go toward overdue bills, I tend to get a bit depressed about it. I try to keep it to myself, but he persists in asking me what is wrong, and I say.."Well, I'm a bit depressed about our finances"....and it's all downhill from there. Essentially I have much resentment over his choice to be in the pageant when we didn't have the money, and he feels like I am always going to point the finger at this pageant everytime we have money issues. We both see a bad pattern with this...but I find it so hard to get over the resentment.
There's a lot that I did not include in that conversation, but I tried to boil it down to it's essence. What's a person to do when this much resentment wreaks havoc?