Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source
Copyright 2004, Karl Augustine

Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type
of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for.
When looking for advice about divorce, it is smart to clearly
define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure
to look in the right places.

Seems simple enough right?

Yes, but...lots of people who are deciding about divorce and
seeking divorce advice lump the categories of divorce advice
into one, and that's a big mistake. You should seek divorce
advice from different types of places for the different types
of advice that you need. Certainly there's more types of
divorce advice categories, but here's a partial list:

Divorce advice type 1: Legal advice for getting a divorce when
you are sure that you want a divorce, no matter how tough it
will be to get that divorce. When asking for this type of
divorce advice while meeting with an attorney, you may be asked
if you're certain that you actually do want a divorce...if you
do, don't waver, stick to your decision. It makes sense to have
a good idea of all of the parts of your life, family and
materials, that could be affected or sought after. You want to
have your facts, account names, timelines, etc., in mind when
meeting with the attorney so that your discussion is maximized.

Divorce advice type 2: Legal advice for getting a divorce when
you are almost sure that you want a divorce, but want to make
sure that the financial considerations are in order or that
health of your children won't suffer in the long run. When
asking for this type of divorce advice, you may want to
consider seeking the advice of an attorney or financial planner
for the financial considerations and a counselor experienced in
family matters for the impact that a divorce might have on your
children. The point is, split the two concerns up so that you
get the chance to speak to 2 different people who specialize in
each area so that you will get the appropriate divorce advice.

Divorce advice type 3: Legal advice for getting a divorce in a
case that is relatively simple and will be a clean break, no
financial or other family considerations to take into account
for the divorce. This is perhaps the easiest type of divorce
advice to get because it infers that you have already made the
decision from an emotional standpoint and really don't have
any other considerations of deep concern. When seeking this
type of divorce advice, you most likely have limited financial
considerations, a prenuptial agreement, or the situation itself
as amenable to everyone and you just need someone to do the
paperwork.

Divorce advice type 4: Legal and/or counseling advice regarding
whether or not divorce is right for you from a psychological,
emotional and financial perspective. When asking for this type
of divorce advice, you may want to consider seeking the advice
of an attorney or financial planner for the financial
considerations and a counselor experienced in Clinical
Psychology and "personal-life" coaching for the impact that a
divorce might have on you. Again, the point is, split the two
concerns up so that you get a chance to speak to 2 different
people who specialize in each area so that you will get the
appropriate divorce advice.

Divorce advice type 5: Counseling for emotional support when
deciding whether or not you really want a divorce or are just
unhappy in your marriage. This type of divorce advice is crucial
to your happiness because when you're in an emotional state, it
is tough to make lucid and rational decisions. And, if you're
wrestling with deciding whether or not to get a divorce (purely
from an emotional perspective), you should do all you can to
make a logical decision because how you approach this decision
and the affects afterwards can be long lasting and far reaching.
If you're are struggling with finding divorce advice, you may
want to talk to friends, counselors, even other family members.

But, my divorce advice to you is, do it yourself.

I'm not saying don't talk with friends, counselors, and possibly
family. What I am suggesting is that you reach the final
decision of whether to get a divorce on your own, you have to
live with it, no one else. The answer is inside you, you just
have to get it out in a logical manner.

Whatever type of divorce advice you need, be sure that you're
directing your energies in the right direction. If you don't
separate the emotional aspects from the legal aspects of
divorce advice, you might end up confused and unable to get
the most out of any meeting you may have with an attorney or
marriage counselor. At the end of the day, you should control
your own destiny and make a smart decision based on logic,
controlled emotion, and forward thinking.

Karl Augustine, Author of: "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce" http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com